you never thought

you never thought 
you could get
enlightened 
except in your more
deluded moments.

maybe it’s more
deluded 
to think you
can’t!

you don’t get to
complain anymore,
things still hurt,
you begin to
take pride that you
can be that way,
and also there’s 
something funny
about it at times.

You do that for
a short while,
then you forget
to do it,
for a long time. 

Then you remember 
to do it again,
for a longer while,
and then you forget 
to do it for not quite
so long.

You keep doing
that, 
and you begin to
remember 
to not complain,
still feel hurt,
take pride that
you can be
that way
for longer and longer
periods,
and you forget to be
that way
for shorter and shorter 
periods.

Then one day,
your forgetting
itself
begins to make you
remember
you can be
that way.