know exactly what you’re doing

You know exactly
what you are doing:
That is the whole point
of the practice and
reading the books and
listening to the talks.

This particular kind of
knowing starts with
you feel inadequate,
inadequate to know
what you should be
doing with your life.
You are at the point where
you actually need
to find somebody to
teach you that.

You thought you were
going to get something
from your teacher,
something to make you
feel less inadequate
and more your natural self.
Then you could be a
teacher, too!

What you get is,
around your teacher
you feel even more
self-conscious.

The more stupid
you feel
the more brilliant
your teacher.
That’s your way of
making your teacher
your secret self.
Good for you!

You try to make
how small and ordinary
you feel into
a profound experience.
You now know
some great teaching
because of how little
you know
and how ordinary
you are.

When are you
going to
stop doing all those
tired old tricks?

A bunch of ideas about
what you think is
so enlightened
just makes you tricky
and mean.
You mainly use it to
put people down.

It’s terrible how many
people do that!
You don’t want to be
one of them when
you die!

Look deeper
and deeper and deeper
into what makes you
always want to
come to conclusions
about how you know
what you are doing.

All of that concluding
and proving what you know
just makes you useless to
talk to.

Each time you
go to think about
doing something,
you exaggerate
the whole thing.
It’s going to change
everything!

It’s not.

Just go more into
the feeling of being
inadequate and hesitant
to know what you’re
doing,
with a hint of
there’s somebody
looking over your shoulder
who knows more than
you do.

That is getting a little
closer to where the natural
sharpness of thinking
comes from.

If you’ve got to
prove it to anyone,
that’s not it.







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