trust without suspicion

it’s not do you trust

somebody or yourself

the usual way,

where you could get

something good

out of it,

or else something bad

happens

if you’re wrong.

it’s a much bigger trust

than that.

you trust that

you can feel sad

and can be good

to yourself,

and you can be good

to other people, too.

you trust that

you can tell

what’s good to do,

and what isn’t.

you don’t doubt

yourself about that,

because

you know yourself better

than anyone. 

you trust that

you are not going to

be gullible

and just accept anything

you think might

make your life a lot

better.

it’s hard to know

just why you meditate,

but part of you

seems drawn to it,

even if it is not always

a pleasant experience.

you trust that it is

something worth doing.

it’s not that you can

prove it,

and therefore you 

can trust it.

it’s a much bigger

trust

that comes from

both sadness and basic

intelligence.